Very Long Time..... no hear
Oh here we go....again....
I am so scared... my head is spinning....
(Courtesy of Pete Murray, "Bail Me Out").
Week 4, Term 2 of year 12.
240 something days unitl the Higher School Certificate.
I think it is finally hitting home exactely what the HSC is all about..... and exactely what I have to sign myself away to.
And its fucken scarey.
I love life at the moment...... I am happy..... I have the bestest friend ever by my side..... a group of people constantly around me who constantly make me laugh and enjoy life......parents and family who care so much it annoys me..... a school I passionately adore...... teachers who are like friends and who never stop receiving praise if anyone makes the mistake of asking what I think....... an environment which is one of the best in the world...... a shire full of crazy, random, yet entertaining and loveable characters.... and generally a lifestyle I love.
It feels like the world is at my feet.
And I don't want to give that feeling up. Even for 200 and whatever days.
I don't want to go back into that year 10 state of life being a chore.... and being completely burnt-out.
I'm scared that I'll end up like that again. I'm in denial that in 8 or so months, I will be at the school I have come to love, sitting near the people I have come to adore, with teachers standing outside, who have become more like friends and who I have the upmost respect for..... sitting an exam for the last time.
God dammit, why do they have the HSC in yr 12 at the peak of everyone's newfound independence and.... dare I say it.... empowerment in life?
Is it some kind of sadistic application of Darwinism? Whack everyone in the pressure cooker and see who comes out at the end? Survival of the fittest?
Another appropriate analogy could be drawn to a paper shredder.
Perhaps the HSC, as our equivalent of a "coming of age", rite of passage, is somewhat of a experience leading to the further empowerment of our innocent inexperienced souls....?
Maybe it does have positive outcomes as well.
Hopefully everyone will come out of it as more all/well roundeded individuals ready to face the world. We can only hope.
And I damn well hope I am not one of grains of rice that gets stuck to the bottom of the rice cooker..... while the rest is being rolled up into sushi.
Mmm.....sushi. I can't wait for that last piece. Pity I will be choking on it for 8 months until I can swallow it.
Until then it's going to be a long and hard battle.
I hope I win.
Anyway..... what was that Hamlet?
.: posted by : Benji @ 5:29 PM : [+] : 
: :.
5 Comments:
You'll actually feel so much better than you do now once it's all done and the effects of the HSC and the nostalgia have worn off! I haven't felt this good for as long as I can remember, and it's all 'cos I've realised that I'm actually doing exactly what I want to do with my life, esp. through uni. Heh, I guess getting the HSC over with has been a bit empowering?
But you're right, until then it goes a bit down hill. That can't be helped. Just try not to get as behind as I did in studying(!), and you'll be ok.
Try and look forward to the end, even though it'll mean having to say goodbye to some of the better parts of high school. It all works out eventually.
(even though I know none of what other people like me say makes much of a difference for you atm ;)But in the mean time, Good luck :)
.: posted by :
torfeida @ 8:35 PM :.
Cheers Tor, you at least made me feel a tiny bit better about signing the next 8 months away ;)
Ta.
.: posted by :
Benji @ 11:24 AM :.
You just scared the shit out of me Benji.
I came over to check when the last time I wrote here was, and found a whole lot of purple writing. It took a few seconds before I realised why it was there.
I wish I had such an upbeat perspective on school at the moment. I have become way to far behind already, and I have no idea how I'll get what I think I want at the moment.
.: posted by :
James @ 3:44 PM :.
geez.. your so selfish james.... its all about you isn't it..?
lol....
It's weird you calling me Benji.
What do you want? I spose you just have to bite the bullet and stop procrastinating.... I think you are fairly... wait for it.... similar to... Tor (*chuckles to self*)... by the sounds of things you both leave things to the absolute last minute (okay fine I do as well...)
I spose this year we can't keep doing that and expect great marks.
But you can do it.
Find some motivation.... something which will keep you going. Oh and you need something else apart from school to do (apart from getting lost in cyber space) and apparently laughing is critical. My friends up here are going to hate me this year... dealing with me.
That's just advice I've got... not necessarily using it myself. But I should be.
Anyway James a good kick in the you know where wouldn't hurt to get you started.
Start by arranging meetings with your teachers about what you need to do to get UAI 90+, that's helped a bit for me.
.: posted by :
Benji @ 5:18 PM :.
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.: posted by :
Anonymous @ 8:57 PM :.
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