Very Long Time..... no hear

Oh here we go....again....
I am so scared... my head is spinning....
(Courtesy of Pete Murray, "Bail Me Out").

Week 4, Term 2 of year 12.
240 something days unitl the Higher School Certificate.

I think it is finally hitting home exactely what the HSC is all about..... and exactely what I have to sign myself away to.

And its fucken scarey.

I love life at the moment...... I am happy..... I have the bestest friend ever by my side..... a group of people constantly around me who constantly make me laugh and enjoy life......parents and family who care so much it annoys me..... a school I passionately adore...... teachers who are like friends and who never stop receiving praise if anyone makes the mistake of asking what I think....... an environment which is one of the best in the world...... a shire full of crazy, random, yet entertaining and loveable characters.... and generally a lifestyle I love.

It feels like the world is at my feet.
And I don't want to give that feeling up. Even for 200 and whatever days.
I don't want to go back into that year 10 state of life being a chore.... and being completely burnt-out.
I'm scared that I'll end up like that again. I'm in denial that in 8 or so months, I will be at the school I have come to love, sitting near the people I have come to adore, with teachers standing outside, who have become more like friends and who I have the upmost respect for..... sitting an exam for the last time.

God dammit, why do they have the HSC in yr 12 at the peak of everyone's newfound independence and.... dare I say it.... empowerment in life?

Is it some kind of sadistic application of Darwinism? Whack everyone in the pressure cooker and see who comes out at the end? Survival of the fittest?
Another appropriate analogy could be drawn to a paper shredder.

Perhaps the HSC, as our equivalent of a "coming of age", rite of passage, is somewhat of a experience leading to the further empowerment of our innocent inexperienced souls....?

Maybe it does have positive outcomes as well.

Hopefully everyone will come out of it as more all/well roundeded individuals ready to face the world. We can only hope.

And I damn well hope I am not one of grains of rice that gets stuck to the bottom of the rice cooker..... while the rest is being rolled up into sushi.

Mmm.....sushi. I can't wait for that last piece. Pity I will be choking on it for 8 months until I can swallow it.

Until then it's going to be a long and hard battle.
I hope I win.

Anyway..... what was that Hamlet?