As we speak, one Benita C-------, of unkown origins, is travelling by train, somewhere on the NSW central coast. This poor soul is enduring a night of cramped, sleepless, arse aching travelling.

"Welcome to Countrylink, I trust you have brought plenty of food and an overstuffed pillow, all passengers are advised that passengers travelling are required to undergo pillow searches, and that food labelled Ricola Alpine Fresh is strictly prohibited. This train will depart at 10:28 pm and arrives in Sydney at 11:40am tomorrow morning. Thankyou for choosing Countrylink, really, the only choice for travel - 'cos WE own the rails."